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 LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!

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Lee
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PostSubject: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Sun Jun 17, 2007 11:52 pm

Hey everybody, heres a place where we can all bitch at each other and tell each other what we all really think of each other. Flamewars, spam its all good here.^_^

Jak:

I hate Jak. He reminds me so much of my russian neighbor Nick. EVery time I say something he throws it in my face before I can get a good chunk of my opinion in. He always acts like he knows everything. He thinks just cus his dad is a Fuck Face that that means his life is worse than mine. U don't know Hell until U've been there. So don't ever act like you know me. Like you know the shit I've been through. The average person who's gone through what I've gone thrugh is mentally disoriated like my mother is. She gets upset so easily. And its all because of my dad. So Jak, though I do admit you have a tough and pretty shitty life. Mines worse. So don't have a "my lifes worse than yours" challenge with me cus i can write about myself all day if I have to.

Menow: YOUR POSTS ARE TO FRICKIN LONG!!! Most of the time I only read half of it because its so long.

Kibainzuaka: You bore me so easily.

Yondy: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR PENIS SIZE OR BE SHOWN A PIC OF IT!!! Aslo, what the hell is up with you always changeing your age? Are you some online pervert or something?

Lendaris: You get mad to easily. But it's kina funny.

Narutojunkie: Your a diehard Naruto fan. What else is there to say? I can't really come up with anything bad to say.

Note: This was not meant to initially destroy my bonds or friendships with any of the veiwers. Only my htoughts and opinions are stated. This is just so everyone knows what I think of them. Exept Jak, Jak can go fuck himself for all I care. The rest of you, I LOVE YOU!!!!(in a non-sexual friendsly way) Were all like one big happpy loveing family.^_^
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:51 am

Should I go to bed, or stay and flame you? I'll stay.

First I'm very happy that you made my section the longest. The majority of your opinions feel as if you're a young kid, which I guess you are, but I never went through the typical teenage way of thinking. I do know a vast amount of stuff, but I do admit I like to show off a lot. Plus I like to correct people if they have their facts wrong. I don't recall me saying my life was worse than anyone else's. Besides, I don't have that bad a life. I have the option to do what I want with my life, and I've learned a lot thanks to my parents. And yeah, I'm not going to say I've been to "hell", but I have been to rehab and that place is damn well close to hell. I know what it's like to get upset easily, it's hard to bounce back from things like that, but sooner or later you can. I'm not sure how bad your father is so I can't say how bad your life is. Go ahead, write about yourself, I'm quite interested in hearing it.

I don't have anything to say about most of you guys, you act the way you act which is fine by me.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Mon Jun 18, 2007 10:15 am

My life Story stars from even before I was born. When My mom was in her early 20's she went to see a spycick. She said my mother would meet 2 blonde men. One of which would become the father of her 2 children. She tried to warn my mother that she would be changed if it was to happen. My mother didn't take the warning. She went off into the world. She searched for that man, and for her 2 children. At the time she had just lost a group of friends. She was completely and utterly alone in the world. Even her own family hated her at the time. No one wanted her. One day she ended up meeting a skinhead. And she became friends with him. This brought her into a new world. The Klu Klutz Klan. This is where she met my dad. She never really hated anyone. She just wanted to be accepted. She wanted friends. She wanted that family that didn't seem to care about her anymore. My dad was the highest in class out of all of the klan members. Most of them had no class at all. My mom was the highest class of the girls. So of course, they hooked up. But my dad didn't really love her. Iknow that. The only reason they ended up getting married was because she ended up getting pregnant, with me. She only found out he was a complete spycho 5 months after her pregnagncy. She wanted me to have a father. She didnt' want to hear her daughter growing up asking, "mommy, who's my daddy? What does he look like? Does Daddy love me?" etc. She did it for me. In her own mind, She was stuck.

My dad is a very viloent, very aggressive, and a very big man. He is also very good in verbal arguments. His powerful booming voice makes it difficult for anyone to make a good argument against him. From the day I was bborn until the day we left him for good, I felt like I was walking on egg shells. Just the smallest thing would upset him, and set him off. Since my dad loves the country, I lived isolated from the world. I had no friends. My dad was so paranoid that we were going to be attacked by the Russians, or some other place that he taought me how to shoot a rifle, hand gun, and machin gun. And he let me light fire works too. So its safe for me to say, I'd be great in the Army, I'd be able to take any of you guys out. (not that I'd want to, but I could guns ) He also showed me the geographical area. He took me thorugh the woods, had me memorize what was where. He always thought of me as his little girl. He loved me. And because I was young and ignorant, I loved him too. he taught me, its better to die fighting for your freedom than liveing in slavery. I still hold that lesson dear to me. Over the years as my mother watched my father turn me into his little minnieme she weeped, and suffered. He didn't care avout her. Only me. She weeped as she watched me become a hater like him. I was raised to hate, raised to become what he thought of as his new legacy. When it came to me as a baby. I was an angel, I almost never cried as a baby. But I was still to hard for him to handle. He never intended me to exist at all, let alone the next, my brother.

My brother Eric, was the exact opposit of me. My mom knew from the begining of her pregnancy with him, that she wouldn't be lucky as she was with me. She knew, Eric, would turn around the future. In the begining, my dad was happy he was to have a son. About a month after his birth he didn't think that anymore. Eric, always screamed, and cried. he kept us up all night. Its a wonder my dad didn't kill him or my mother or me in a fit of rage. We were always just an inch away from death, just about everyday.

I was taught my protestant faith behind my fathers back. My mom could look me in the eyes. Tell me a secret, and knew I wouldn't tell. Behind his back she taught me not to hate. She gave me something to love instead.

Things got worse and worse as the years, and months went by. he got angrier, drank more, got more paranoid. Towards the ending months of my stay within that hell the fighting was borderlineing where it would get voilent. i could feel that feeling I always get when things are about to drastically change, when the place I'm at feels old, like I'm tired of it, like I know my time there has ended, and I just want to leave so i can get it over with.

I remember the day when the fighting reached its peek. My last day in bondage. I was in my room. I could hear things being thrown around. My parents fighting, a young baby crying, and the sound of my video game, croc, in the distance humming a sweet song of victory. I turned of the video game because i knew it was time for me to leave this world, I knew my life was changeing. I grabbed my shoes and waited for my mom to come and get me. We left, with nothing but her purse, which had $13 in it, just enough to buy my brother a bottle. The truck had no gas in it, at all. But for some odd reason it ran anyway. We slept at a rest stop for about 2 hours. Then we left to go to a preists house.(We did know the guy, but we couldn't accually go to church unless my dad went' on a buisness trip, let us go,(rarely ever) or we were in the area.) We slept over his house, borrowed $20 for gas, and continued on.

The horrors didn't stop, but it got better. As the ages grew on, as I matured, I visited him, Eric didn't, he was to hard for him to handle alone. He always talked shit about my mom. It pissed me off. How dare he say that about the woman who saved me from him, the only one who dared show me new things in life. But I could do nothing. I had to always agree with him, or it would end up in an argument or shit like that. And i didn't have my mom to protect me anymore. I'd always thought of going to his house like a chore. I'd rather be home with my friends and family, rather than be with him. Since I was secluded with him in the mountains all those years, by time I started to talk to people my age, I was unaturaly shy, I didn't even know how to skip. My ADHD didn't help with that either. I have a need for attention.

Just after I turned 13 my mom lost her job. At the time we were only getting $400 from him a month. We needed more. My dad just automaticaly assumed she wanted it for herself. She didn't. Even when she has extra money she uses it on me and my brother. She didn't even go for alamoney(When your married to someone for a long time you can get money for it.) He started to threaten us. HE said he was going for custody of me. First he persuaded me to come. Then he tried to make me feel sympathy for him. He knows I'm not good at verbal arguments. I can only write them down. After he tried all is his tricks, which were not going to chang my mind whatsoever. He again threateaned to take my mom to court for custody of me. All he cared about was the money. I felt like an object. Like everybody wanted me just so they would get money or wouldn't have to pay it. He eventually scared us so much that we left my old town in fear that he'd come and kidnap me. He's crazy enough to do it. I left 2 of my best friends over there. I'll always miss them, though I do visit them and call them often. When I moved here, we were still afraid he's find me and kidnap me. My brother was all upsset and afraid. He started to act like a freak in class. Through the chairs around class, started fights, and he even got suspended once. He said he did it because he was mad at our dad. Things got worse. We went to court. We won. We got the money and custody of me. MOstly cus he gave up. He'd have to pay a lot of money to win, and he cared to much about his money to do that.

I haven't talked to my dad since march, when it was my brothers birthday. I'm glad for that. I don't want to ever see him or look at him again. He doesn't call me because he doesn't want to hear my mothers voice in the backround. He could email me, but I guess he just doesn't care anymore. He's got a new life, a finace, a new house, new friends, new cars. Why would he need me? I plan on severing all ties with him when I turn 18. I'd do it now, but I still want my brother to have a father. He wants his fathers love and attention, but never really gets it. I feel guilty for it. I often torture myself by b eing extra shy around people because I feel like I don't deserve the attention I desire. I've gone goth. And he resents me for it. He thinks I'm a freak. Just because I don't ware yellow, pink, light green, and white doesn't mean I'm depresssed. It just means that maybe I don't like bright colors. But he always takes it the wrong way. He needs to realize I'm not his little nazi imitation. I'm my own person. And I'll never be like him.

After the whole custody issue ended I sat down one day and listened to a linkin park cd. The song was Don't Stay. When the song finished i realized this was how I felt. I decided then, that I hated him, and always would. Everyday, I am reminded of him somehow. I hate him, and hope he dies, in an inferno of everlasting pain and anguish.

As for why I posted this, jak said he wanted to hear it. So there you all go. I typed it. If I get carpel tunnel I'm gonna kill one of you. guns


Last edited by on Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:31 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:31 pm

And you said Menow's posts are long... jeez...

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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:29 am

lol! lol! lol!

ROFLMFAO at this thread.

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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 5:47 am

Maybe I am naybe im not but really I am a 15 year old boy and you your just a sad sad little girl you need to calm down a little take a breather maybe before you end up hurting somebody or maybe thats for the better but if your gonna hurt somebody start with Jak
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 5:57 am

I don't mean to double post I accidentally pressed enter and it went send so yeah maybe as I said before start with Jak. I understand where your coming from but when you say and do things like this you must give directions to people. I don't know if you are but I am from America and if you want people to help you or understand you then you have to tell them what you want. You made this thread because obviously you've had some problems in your life but my question to you is wht is the point? What are you getting from this? Whats the point of telling people ONLINE your REAL LIFE problems? Is this some kind of game to you? Do you need help? What I am not trying to put you down or anything I just want to know why what is the point
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:24 pm

The point would be to just tell someone. No matter if it's online or in real life, it's better to just tell someone about your troubles instead of keeping them inside for a long time.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:50 pm

Jakotsu wrote:
The point would be to just tell someone. No matter if it's online or in real life, it's better to just tell someone about your troubles instead of keeping them inside for a long time.

For once I agree with you jak.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 7:22 pm

I understand that but I guess I just don't understand why.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:38 pm

When you go through a pain or agaony like Jak or I have sometimes its just good to tell your story. For me, because writeing helps me get out emotions, I prefer to write it all out. Even if no one accually listens to it. It helps with the pain. I don't know how. But it does. So of course you can't understand it. You've never been there.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:16 pm

Are you serious I don't know what pain is im from California not L.A. or Malibu or any of those gay parts I am from richmond the most deadliest city in california and possibly America. You tell me I don't know pain I've been shot at b4 I've shot at people b4 my cousin died in my arms when I was fucking 12 do you know what kind of trauma that can put a kid through don't ever tell me I don't know what fucking pain is shit pain isn't anything to me I've lived it do you know how it is huh do you. Do you know how it is where you can't even walk through parts of your own city with a certain kind of hat. We got 4 parts North South Central, and Mainline I am from Central were we wear Cincinatti hats if you step in north or any other set wearing a c hat u get shot your from Jersey maybe they got gangs I don't know but not necissarly where u get shot just becuase they see u wit a certain hat so don't tell me I don't kno what da fuck pain is I do I just don't whine about it 2 people online.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 11:47 pm

Yondaime Naruto's dad wrote:
Are you serious I don't know what pain is im from California not L.A. or Malibu or any of those gay parts I am from richmond the most deadliest city in california and possibly America. You tell me I don't know pain I've been shot at b4 I've shot at people b4 my cousin died in my arms when I was fucking 12 do you know what kind of trauma that can put a kid through don't ever tell me I don't know what fucking pain is shit pain isn't anything to me I've lived it do you know how it is huh do you. Do you know how it is where you can't even walk through parts of your own city with a certain kind of hat. We got 4 parts North South Central, and Mainline I am from Central were we wear Cincinatti hats if you step in north or any other set wearing a c hat u get shot your from Jersey maybe they got gangs I don't know but not necissarly where u get shot just becuase they see u wit a certain hat so don't tell me I don't kno what da fuck pain is I do I just don't whine about it 2 people online.

No, I've never watched people die before. But dieing is a fucking way of life. One day, each and evey one of us will be a dead rotting corpse. Maybe you've been throuh death and violence, but I can tell you psychological warfare is worse.

There have been times when i'v gone bordreline insane. When i have something similar to a mental breakdown. I start screaming and crying uncontrollably for about ten minutes. While the whole thing is going on I can't feel any physical pain, communicate, or even use my god given right to think. I had one not to long ago. And this one was in public to. Do you know what its like for people to be stareing at you, like your some freak? I don't think so. U don't know what its like to be named after the Kriistalnaucht. You don't know what its like to go to school and not know how to skip or jump rope after 7 years cooped up with only your dad, mom, and brother, you don't know what its like to be hollow and alone, I don't even know how to fucking cry anymore. He took that human emotion from me too. Do you know what its like to hate a person so much you fucking shake in anger when you hear there name? Let alone it being your own fucking father? Do you know what its like to have a battle of insanity with yourself?

We all go through pain. Some more than others. We all feel human emotions. Pain is another way of us uniteing together again. When 9/11 happend everyone in America seemed to join together. Maybee tradgedys like that happen to remind us of our pain, and suffering.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Tue Jun 19, 2007 11:54 pm

I just have to say this because it's starting to get rather annoying.

Lee, you need to stop talking to people like you know them. You don't know any of these people, you have no idea what anybody has been through, you don't even know what the real world has to offer you in the way of pain yet.

I know you think you know a lot, but only a fraction of that is knowledge, the rest is just shit you think you know.

Now, you can feel free to turn this all back around on me about how I don't know you, but you need to keep this in mind: You are 13, you haven't even been on your own, and you haven't even made it out of your one-horse-town mindset in order to actually KNOW anyone.

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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:13 am

I'm guessing some of those mental breakdowns are caused by over-exaggerating everything thank to puberty. Give it a year or two, and it will stop.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:15 am

Exactly my point I understand you know what pain is, but you can just go around acting like your life is the worse its people who's life is way worse than yours or mine combined. I understand it hurts I understand you want people to know, but you can't go around acting like some charity case or like your life is so goddamn depressing. Many things happen to everybody everyday and your wrong about me hating my father for the first 11 years I hated my father, but I learned to let go of all that anger and frustration becuase it will get you nowhere in life. My father was abusive also not alot it was just one day when he was tired of arguing with my mom that he hit her and I was only 4 you understand do you know how that feels I was 4 and I watched my dad my only dad hit my mother. I didn't know what 2 do I felt helpless and I didn't want to feel that way so I ran and I pushed him down the stairs I pushed my own fucking father down the stairs it was only 6 or 7 stairs, but it felt alot 2 me that I could help my mom. So don't go saying your life is worse than anyone else's becuase it truely isn't. I've had psylogical warfare done 2 me also from friends, people I didn't know and hell my own family I hated my uncle still do to this day becuase he's alwyas calling me weak or something becuase I don't live up to his standards almost everything I do is to impress him and I am still weak in his eyes, but his own son is a fag he's my cousin and I love him but his sn is a fag and he pushes me 2 the limit I couldn't cry at my own grandpa's funeral becuase my uncle said I would be acting like the girl I was, do you understand that to be verbally assaulted by your own uncle if you don't im sorry 2 say but don't come crying 2 me with your goddamn sob stories.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:21 am

It has nothing 2 do with puberty or atleast not on my part
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Fri Jun 22, 2007 8:48 am

Yondaime Naruto's dad wrote:
Exactly my point I understand you know what pain is, but you can just go around acting like your life is the worse. Don't come crying 2 me with your goddamn sob stories.

First off, I don't have the worst life. I know that. I never said I did. I also never cried to anyone about my life. Jak wanted to hear it. So I told it. I didn't write it for no apparent reason.

And also, My uncles dead. he did suicide years ago. I never got to meet him. So no, I wouldn't know what thats like cus I don't have an uncle.
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:40 am

Ok people, I think this has gotten a little too out of hand. I want everyone who read my post right now to stop . . . . take a deep breath. . . . exhale. . . . stop watching re-runs of Dr. Phil . . . and calm down. I know that I'm probably new to some folks, being that I had a posting Hiatus for a little while, but at the same time I'm still an Admin, and I feel this topic is just pointless. Did you really join a site based on a Japanese Anime and Manga to talk about you're feelings and repressed emotions? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting to know one another, but damn. Can we please keep the mood in here light and friendly?? If a new members comes, and reads some of this crazy shit you guys have posted, they're not gonna wanna join, they're gonna think we're all demented and crazy. Lee, I'm all for an emotional release, and it seems you need someone to talk to, but you can't expect everyone to understand you're story, cause thats just life. You need someone to talk to I'll be happy to, I've got my fair share of crazy childhood stories as well, so feel free to PM me anytime. I'm sure this post will probably invoke some sour feelings between members of this site, and we really don't want that, so if it keeps going the way it is right now, i'm gonna delete this topic.

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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Fri Jun 22, 2007 12:24 pm

Ok, no that were all happy happy happy happy happy little wonder elves filled with gaity feelings inside I say this,

FLAME WAR!!!!!!

Now, I'd like all of you to rant on how I annoy you, if I do
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PostSubject: Re: LEE'S ROOM OF COMPLETE AND UTTER HATRED!!!!   Fri Jun 22, 2007 12:39 pm

You obviously missed my point about how I'm not gonna allow members to bash each other constantly, and so the topic is being locked, If you have any issues with this PM me and we'll work them out.

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